When It's Time To Put Them Out To Pasture

You know that tuition break you never seem to get? This is a part of what is bothering me about today's yeshivas in today's economy. I know that I have a obligation to be mechanech my child. I also know that I am putting my child in the hands of a Yeshiva to do this for me, so as opposed to hand picking a 1:1 rav for my son, he gets a "one size fits all" according to the yeshiva we choose to send him to, as well as having to accept (if not practice) the yeshiva's hashkafos. I know these facts going in, and I have to deal with it. But with all of the competition, especially in this economic situation I have to ask if it's a business.
Now I can hear you snickering, of course, you say, it's a business. So why do so many of us who pay full price accept poor service? Crappy English teachers have become the norm, and we accept it because, hey, it's yeshiva! Would you accept a ripped shirt from a store you just paid full price for? Of course not, but we (I) have been conditioned that this is the way it is, so just deal with it.
Now, the worst part. You are at PTA, shul, or other function and you say your kid is going into whatever grade. A few parents pipe up and give you condolences, while others shake their heads in sorrow. Oh, you're having Rabbi -----berg. Good luck. He's been doing this for 25 years and has no patience left. Or sorry, your having Rabbi----stein. He gives piles of homework and doesn't care about the kids, only his program. Oy,Vey Rabbi ----man! He called my son an idiot. Yes, you get Rabbeim who can't control their mouths. I was listening to my friends tell some horror stories the other night, and their kids are in a different yeshiva. than mine. We all have the same problem though. If we pipe up, we're afraid of being kicked out. There are many schools that would easily get rid of "trouble makers" at the expense of the kids, and tell the other yeshivos not to accept you. I saw this happen this year to a friend. Even after all the years of tuition paid in full. If this was a real business, the yeshivos would be investigated by the department of consumer affairs, and money would have to be refunded, and the incompetent employee fired (or as what usually happens, they get a promotion)!!. When a rebbe becomes burned out, or just plain stinks, I think we should do them and our children a kindness and put them out to pasture. To do any less is a betrayal of our children and ourselves, and boy have we been betrayed.

Chanukah, The Almost Yom Tov (Menorah Upside Down On Purpose)

Well, next week, we will be very close to “the festival of lights”. Working as a frum Jew in a mostly Non Jewish atmosphere, I’m always amazed at how Chanukah, which really is a series of great miracles done for us, gets for lack of a better term “Christmasized”. What’s even weirder is how I’ve let myself get sucked into the mentality, and maybe sadly, I enjoy it a little. Here is what I mean. First, I have to (and want to, with a great staff) give presents. Now, I know how many Christians hate that the Heysuess (pronounced Jesus) has been taken out of the holiday. I don’t want to come across as a “politically correct” nerd, so I give them actual Christmas cards with a little $ (none of your business how much) and a lottery ticket. They are extremely appreciative, and want to reciprocate, and they do. Have I jumped on board the exchanging gifts at the holiday season bandwagon? The answer is yes. The other part of me that is always irked is how my co-workers will compare the two. Let me tell you, there ain’t no such thing as Hannukah Harry, but I laugh when they ask all the same. And the I feel guilty for minimizing our great miracles to silliness. That’s the “irked” part. Also (guiltily) I enjoy seeing them being able to “relate” to me just a bit. I think that Chanukah does get the short end of the stick by us, the religious. This lets other religions pull at it and make it something it’s not, and this is why. On every other Yom Tov, we are actively involved in it and it is outside of the workplace. On Purim, you wouldn’t give Shelach Manot to a non Jew, and you are busy. The other Yom Tovim keep you busy in shul, or away from work. You usually don’t bring your lulav and esrog to shul on Chol Hamoed, so the holiday is more of a private thing. Not so with Chanukah. Every store from Path Mark, to CVS has the obligatory Chanukah stuff. At least one (usually non religious) co-worker will bring in sufganiot or left over oily latkes. A staff that eats together can share the “holiday spirit” together. There is always the obligatory electric menorah at the holiday party that you feel obligated to be at, especially since the boss ordered kosher food just for you. Yes, I get a little sucked in, and it’s not a good thing. I just have one non breakable rule. No mistletoe in the classroom.

Nachas or Someone Knows How to Write

Surprise! Well this is always a point that I think of and miss, and I hope you take the time to read this and prepare yourselves if you have kids in school.
I was very proud of my son's report card. He got mostly A's. The thing I liked most about it was the teacher wrote a thoughtful and individual message. I was very impressed. Many teachers write generic messages like "your son is a sweet boy and a joy to have in class" (yes I do this in public school, but my students are profoundly retarded, so it's true). They don't really think about the impact the comments can make on your child, not to mention their Chanukah tip! Here is the part where I say prepare yourselves. Mrs. LFD and I have noticed when we go to PTA there is not a lot the teachers have to say unless there is a problem. So arm yourselves with some pointed questions that will draw out the best about qualities of your child. This is good for you, and the teacher too. I know that I forgot to prepare for our daughters PTA, and the teachers told us "She is very smart and funny, she talks with an 8th grader's vocabulary" (She's 5 years old). They gave us a bag of corn chips with a sticker on it for her, and after 30 seconds, we were done. It was a waste of time (other than showing we care about our daughter). I believe they would have had more to say if we asked them some questions. Here is one Mrs. LFD always leads in with:
1. "Hi, please tell me something positive about my son." Not that there is too much negative, but it reorients the thinking.
2. Who is my child's best friend? This will help you gauge if the teacher is aware of social dynamics in the class.
3. What is your recommended bed time? This gives the impression that you value your kid's teachers opinion of what goes on in the home. And good teachers really do know a thing or two about bed time.
4. How is my child coming in in the morning? This will help you gauge if the teacher is looking at the kids moods. Everyone has good and bad days, and teacher need to be aware of this, especially Rabbaim.
Well, if you have any other suggestions, feel free to add to the list, and good luck!

First day back

Well, today was the day the students came back to public school. My class has 4 "crisis" students, all with their own behavior management paras. My staff is overall very good this year, and I am told that one of my most difficult "crisis" kids is not coming back. My new principal is an interesting lady. She painted her office bright purple. I have not had any direct dealings with her to make a decision if I like her or not. Wish me luck!