Sunday, February 8, 2009

When It's Time To Put Them Out To Pasture

You know that tuition break you never seem to get? This is a part of what is bothering me about today's yeshivas in today's economy. I know that I have a obligation to be mechanech my child. I also know that I am putting my child in the hands of a Yeshiva to do this for me, so as opposed to hand picking a 1:1 rav for my son, he gets a "one size fits all" according to the yeshiva we choose to send him to, as well as having to accept (if not practice) the yeshiva's hashkafos. I know these facts going in, and I have to deal with it. But with all of the competition, especially in this economic situation I have to ask if it's a business.
Now I can hear you snickering, of course, you say, it's a business. So why do so many of us who pay full price accept poor service? Crappy English teachers have become the norm, and we accept it because, hey, it's yeshiva! Would you accept a ripped shirt from a store you just paid full price for? Of course not, but we (I) have been conditioned that this is the way it is, so just deal with it.
Now, the worst part. You are at PTA, shul, or other function and you say your kid is going into whatever grade. A few parents pipe up and give you condolences, while others shake their heads in sorrow. Oh, you're having Rabbi -----berg. Good luck. He's been doing this for 25 years and has no patience left. Or sorry, your having Rabbi----stein. He gives piles of homework and doesn't care about the kids, only his program. Oy,Vey Rabbi ----man! He called my son an idiot. Yes, you get Rabbeim who can't control their mouths. I was listening to my friends tell some horror stories the other night, and their kids are in a different yeshiva. than mine. We all have the same problem though. If we pipe up, we're afraid of being kicked out. There are many schools that would easily get rid of "trouble makers" at the expense of the kids, and tell the other yeshivos not to accept you. I saw this happen this year to a friend. Even after all the years of tuition paid in full. If this was a real business, the yeshivos would be investigated by the department of consumer affairs, and money would have to be refunded, and the incompetent employee fired (or as what usually happens, they get a promotion)!!. When a rebbe becomes burned out, or just plain stinks, I think we should do them and our children a kindness and put them out to pasture. To do any less is a betrayal of our children and ourselves, and boy have we been betrayed.


Mikeinmidwood said...

The rebbeim are like wine; the older they get the better. ;)

DavenedByDeKoisel said...

You vant me to comment on dis? You really vant me to comment on dis? Vell, I can't comment on dis because I'm too Fahklempt......

SuperRaizy said...

You're right, of course. I think that this is emblematic of the awful customer service that most frum businesses offer. The attitude is "you're lucky that we let you spend your money here".

Lakewood Falling Down said...

Older-sometimes wiser, sometimes not:)
DBDK- Comment, why not!
SuperRaizy- You hit the attitude right on the head. I wish I could hit some of these attitudes on the head too!

Lion of Zion said...

one reason i wish my son were in a public school is because at least then i wouldn't feel like i was getting ripped off ever if were getting a crappy education

DavenedByDeKoisel said...

Yeah, what the hell, you know the saying goes "Those who can't______"
Fill in the blank, but it means that if you can't do anything else, then maybe you teach in a yeshiva, where they don't give a crap what you know or what you do to the kids,as long as you take their crappy salary. And then when they get a good teacher or rebbi, he leaves because he can't live on promises of "The check is coming any day now". It's a sad commentary that even back when finances were better,most charities were in better shape than yeshivas because they were "Choshuv", whereas our children's education is just not sophisticated enough to warrant the same effort. SHEEESH !!!

Out-of-towner said...

We keep on saying how much education means to us, how essential it is to being Jewish. and then we send our kids out into the world thinking that they know everything when they can't even locate NEW YORK on a map.

Orthowatch said...

The Jewish schools haven't been about the kids for a long time. It's all politics.

Lady-Light said...

LFD, have you considered home-schooling your children?

I have friends, Lubavitchers, each with a different but relevant background (one a ger, one a B.T.), who are home-schooling their four children.

ou probably have not seen kids like these in a long time, if ever; they are mamish (I just had to say that word!) "educated," in the fullest sense of the word: they know geography, are reading their grade level and higher, know about the United States and its government, the world, politics, science, math, the Torah, and their nine year old son (the oldest)also learns Mishnayot (sorry: mishnayes; -you happy?)with a separate teacher, a wonderful young man (one of my son's friends, I'm proud to say); he understands, translates the Mishnayot into English and can recite some of them by heart.

These kids have a wide English vocabulary (their parents speak to them in full, adult sentences)and are eager to learn and curious about life.

But then again, their parents are exceptional: they jointly made this decision years ago, when they saw the midot of the other kids in the so-called "frum" schools here, and the quality of education they would have received.

They also cannot afford the tuition.

HomeSchooling is a monumental task, though; and it takes two parents.
What sayest thou?

Lakewood Falling Down said...

Lol- I wish we could take the time to home school, but we're not prepared. I'd have to say for the most part, my kids are getting an OK education. We supplement at home by exposing them to lots of different things, and supplemental education. For example, Mr. LFD jr. takes music lessons with theory. Mrs. LFD jr-ett has been to more museums than most kids her age. We have a field bird watching guide and an world atlas that's used. The biggest supplement comes from a variety of Shabbos guests from different walks of life. Our biggest frustration is that while we can supplement the Yeshiva system, it really should be supplementing us.