Everyone has One or Your Pesach or Mine?

This post is dedicated to Achdus. Maybe it's the books on Israel I've been reading, or the impending Birchas Hachamah, but what else but Yom Tovim really bring us together? Until... OK, you get married and your are sitting at the begining of the Seder. Now, it's not like Sukkos where you are outdoing someone else with your Lulav & Esrog. On Pesach every family has it's own mishagas. Here at the Seder all bets are off. Minhagim abound, and someones toes are going to get stepped on. How can you compromise? Obviously, your family minhagim go back many generations, (likely to Mt. Sinai) and it would be against G-d himself to change or abandon your sacred traditions. Let's face it, some of you would rather have bamboo shoved under your fingernails than eat Gebrochts. Well good luck to you. I am all about adopting and incorporating. For me, I always only had one issue with Mrs. LFD's Pesach family minhagim, and that is in her house, the parents hid the Afikomen, and in my house, the kids did. The compromise? Two seders, one minhag on each night. Each of us has a rational, but as I have other minhagim her family has adopted, I've become more tolerant, and hence have attained a greater degree of Achdus. The minhagim I do at my inlaws that are tolerated:

1. Having my own Seder plate rather than a communal one at the table.
2. Singing Kadesh Urchatz in the to the tune of Manamana.
3. Glaring at whever reads the "wicked son" as if they are evil incarnate.
4. Eating a potato for Karpas (they use celery, I sneak in a boiled potato. Mrs. LFD doesn't know this, but she will now).
5. Telling boring stories about my father having a "kosher for pesach" garbage can and vacuum cleaner.
6. My personal favorite- singin Adir Hu as the Mr. Potato Head song:
Adir Hu, you know it's true,
Mr. Potato Head I made you.
Eyes & ears & a button nose too,
Mr. Potato head I made you-
Kel Benai, Kel Benai, Beyamaynu Bikarov
Kel Benai, Kel Benai, Mr. Potato Head I love you!

Having a Mr. Potato Head as part of my in-laws seder, and knowing that it has spread to my sister in laws family gives me that warm Achdusy feeling. Ah, minhagim, would we be in Galus without them?

Wii, Myself, and the Microwave

A brief break from the war. For Chanukah, my kids (and Mrs. LFD) really wanted a Wii. Now, I have no problem getting an expensive video game thingy, especially because the Mrs. & I made it clear to the kids, if you want this, your gelt is going towards it. My family then had repeated discussions that annoyed me to no end about how much better our lives would be when we got a Wii. We could exercise together. We could have an indoor family bowling night. We could do so many interactive special things. It reminded me of when my family wanted a microwave. I don't know if your family had these discussions around the table about how this marvelous invention would change your lives, but mine had them till no end. Our mom would no longer be a slave to the kitchen. Leftovers would be magically transformed into delicacies fit for a king. Our parents would have more time to spend with us and each other. On and on the list went. So out went my dad to Sears and got this nifty magical device. One week later life was about the same, except you could make oatmeal w/o boiling water first. And no one in my family likes oatmeal except my dad, who won't touch the darned thing. And FYI, it's one day (minus Shabbos)after this life altering purchase is when I'm putting up this post. And my kids are playing with Lego on the living room floor.

It has the "Ring" of truth or Are your Ears Ringing

OK, so Mrs. LFD doesn't want me to write about this, but if I change the names to protect the innocent...
Anyway, most yeshivas these days are really hurting financially. The market has caused people who used to donate $100,000.00 to maybe $10,000.00. Even worse, those of us who are poor like me went from the $25.00 table at the Chinese auctions to the $10.00 tables. You get the idea, there is less all around. Just to keep in the Lakewood Falling Down spirit, I'll point out that Kollel life when you depend on others is going to take a big hit. No more free ride. Anyway, Mrs. LFD tells me of a couple she knows that interviewed their first child for a certain yeshiva. The first kid means you pay full tuition. No discounts, we need the money, so pay up. I have no problem with this, a yeshiva can't run on air. The interview went well, and everybody was happy. Until the yeshiva in question expressed the desire for the Mr. to consider removing his wedding band. What? This is now priority? I know that there are Mr.'s in this yeshiva who wear a ring. I am hoping this is a fluke. I was once reading a blog (please excuse me I can't remember who's, please comment if it was you so I can link) about a girl pointing out how it's unfair for the single girls at weddings when they "shop". A wedding ring is like a giant "not for sale" sign that makes it easier. That aside, I can understand if you interview for a Chassidish yeshiva, and they tell you sorry, you need to have long payos and dress the part. But for our mainstream yeshivos, especially the more middle of the road ones, don't alienate people. I wonder if these parents are still on the mailing list for donations. Come to think of it, they probably are. They wouldn't dream of taking Nekamah. Sort of a catch 22 don't you think?

Eating with the Lion

So we had a great Shabbos meal this week. We were really excited for a lot of reasons. First some of our favorite guests were coming (my favorite twins), and Lion of Zion & his family! Now Mrs. LFD and Lion grew up together in the same community, and their parents are friends, so it was really nice. We also for the first time in a while had a new guest, a friend of Jacob Da Jew, who I found out davens with my brother in law. Mrs. LFD's brother and Lion have kids in the same school and grade, so all in all we had 9 plus us in our little 2 bedroom apartment. We ate and talked until 4 in the afternoon, and the kids didn't "melt down" until 4, so we had some nice "grown-up" conversation at the table. We covered everything from the Flatbush eruv to solving the problems in Israel. One of the topics was having tzedakah collectors come into your simcha. By our wedding, we set up a table for them slightly outside the main hall, and gave $ to the maitre'd to give to collectors. We didn't want our guests hounded. Mrs. LFD made a salt and pepper kugel, one of my favorites, and a carrot kugel that even my fussy kids both ate. We had great chulent and kugel, and Mrs. LFD got to make one of her pastrami-flower topped deli platters. We were all together from different walks of life, enjoying each others company and ideas. Now that's a great Shabbos!

My Wife's Melons (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

For those of you that are married, I'm sure your wives have hobbies or interests that really are fun and interesting. My wife likes to be creative in the kitchen, but because I have a lighter work schedule, I get to do most of the cooking, and I am boring. My kids eat the same things over and over again, and for Shabbos, I always make the same thing. One day, my wife came home with this book called "Aristocratic Fruit" (Tammy Polatsek). She started to make fruit platters and is pretty darned good at it. She then "graduated" to carving melons. She did the D one for our niece's birthday, the ARA one for an engagement, the bird one, which was very time consuming has the hieroglyphic initials of a chosson and kallah in the fan. What can I say, I'm very proud of her melo...I mean ...skills.