Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It has the "Ring" of truth or Are your Ears Ringing


OK, so Mrs. LFD doesn't want me to write about this, but if I change the names to protect the innocent...
Anyway, most yeshivas these days are really hurting financially. The market has caused people who used to donate $100,000.00 to maybe $10,000.00. Even worse, those of us who are poor like me went from the $25.00 table at the Chinese auctions to the $10.00 tables. You get the idea, there is less all around. Just to keep in the Lakewood Falling Down spirit, I'll point out that Kollel life when you depend on others is going to take a big hit. No more free ride. Anyway, Mrs. LFD tells me of a couple she knows that interviewed their first child for a certain yeshiva. The first kid means you pay full tuition. No discounts, we need the money, so pay up. I have no problem with this, a yeshiva can't run on air. The interview went well, and everybody was happy. Until the yeshiva in question expressed the desire for the Mr. to consider removing his wedding band. What? This is now priority? I know that there are Mr.'s in this yeshiva who wear a ring. I am hoping this is a fluke. I was once reading a blog (please excuse me I can't remember who's, please comment if it was you so I can link) about a girl pointing out how it's unfair for the single girls at weddings when they "shop". A wedding ring is like a giant "not for sale" sign that makes it easier. That aside, I can understand if you interview for a Chassidish yeshiva, and they tell you sorry, you need to have long payos and dress the part. But for our mainstream yeshivos, especially the more middle of the road ones, don't alienate people. I wonder if these parents are still on the mailing list for donations. Come to think of it, they probably are. They wouldn't dream of taking Nekamah. Sort of a catch 22 don't you think?

8 comments:

frumpunk said...

Don't remember whose blog either, but I do remember the post of the girl at the wedding saying its unfair that she cant tell which guys are single.

Thats why I wear my "single" bunny ears at weddings.

Lakewood Falling Down said...

FP- so that was you the girls were checking out. They said pretty cute,but not quite Hue Heffner!

Lion of Zion said...

the ring is old news already.
we know someone personally for whom this came up as an issue at an interview at toras emes a few years ago.

the blog you are thinking of is
http://www.frumsatire.net/2008/06/11/why-dont-frum-men-wear-wedding-rings/

as i noted there, there was a minhag in germany for the in-laws to give a ring to the חתן. also, i think it is implied in the משנה ברורה that it is permitted (by הלכות נטילת ידים).

why doesn't she want you to write about this?

Lion of Zion said...

regarding chinese auctions: we never really went to them that much and some have since pointed out that often these are not good fundraisers (see the orthonomics blog)

sorry we will miss you tomorrow

Lakewood Falling Down said...

Lion- BTW It was not Toras Emes,but I guess issues just get recycled, not resolved. By request of Mrs. LFD I left out names, she does not want me to be the cause of sinas chinam against the "Frummies".

Child Ish Behavior said...

A friend of mine got married and put on a wedding ring. I got to tell him about this, in order for him to get his future children in Yeshiva, he has to let all the ladies hit on him when he goes out with "the fellows" for drink after work.

DavenedByDeKoisel said...

Nah, your kid can be valedectorian of his class but if the parents don't fit the "mold" fuhgettaboutit
he ain't goin to high school there !!this is a true story!! you can wear (5) Rings if you donate a "Wing" of the new building !!!

Out-of-towner said...

I don't care if someone wears a ring or not, but i highly resent the argument "don't do it cuz its goyish." of all the stupid things. if we didn't do anything goyish, we wouldn't speak English or eat pizza. if a guy feels that he's being hit on and is uncomfortable, why shouldn't he wear one? and yeah, it would make frum girls lives easier too, they would know who wasn't pursuable. i'm not forcing my husband to wear one (we're still going back and forth about it), but it pisses me off that the best argument anyone can think of is "its not frum."